~*`~*`~*`~*`~*`mE,MysELf n I'~*`~*`~*`~*`

Sometimes...well most of the time...I tend ponder. What is it that I really want in life? I searched high and low for the answer I’ve been looking for but to no avail. Is going with the flow, living life to the fullest? I wonder. People often ask me questions which I can’t even answer confidently. “I don’t know”, is what I utter. What have you plan for the future? After you graduate, what will you do? With this diploma in hand, what will you benefit from it? With this diploma in hand, what will you expect? And hell yea the.. list goes on. Everything leaves me clueless.

I procrastinate a lot this semester. And i do realise that I’ve drifted way too far that I find it real hard to be back on track. I’m struggling with my morning life. This is affecting me real bad as this concerns my attendance for my morning lessons and also my performance. I know my friends are really trying their best to help me out in this, even though some have actually given up on me already without me knowing... It’s fine with me. But I really appreciate with what they have done. I am trying my best to not disappoint them. It is indeed really tough to change what I chose to begin with, now that I am stuck with this routine.

Minus the fact that some things or someone actually do demoralise me at times but I don’t show it. I may be laughing or smiling or even playin along with what is being said.. But only I know what’s deep down. I don’t portray my feelings clear enough that it will be deceiving.

Just to side-track a little..
Is sarcasm an effective way to make an individual whom you consider as FRIEND, realise their own weaknesses? Does demoralising a soul whom you consider a FRIEND, helps in building their self esteem or are you actually leaving their dignity at stake to boost the ego of yours? And does being a hypocrite to whom you STILL consider as a FRIEND of yours, make you any better individual than that person you bad-mouth?



ShImA