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Saturday, January 31, 2009
I’ve been wishing how I would love to fall sick one day. I actually envied my friends for falling sick so easily. Now, serve me right. Sick and it’s worse than any of them. But I love the coarse voice though.. hahaha. Yea.. I’m both physically and mentally sick. LOL. I’m still living in denial. I refused to accept the fact that eating heaty food, especially chocolates, drinking soft drinks and bubble tea will worsen my condition. My friends did try to control what I ate but to no avail. Thank you for all your undying concerns and ‘Get well soon’ wishes. I’m sorry for being so stubborn. Mentor, Mr Ng: I’m as skinny as you now. He surprised me by that statement. But what he said was true. I’ve grown thinner. I noticed it through my pictures. And with my never ending cough, I’ll grow even thinner. Put on weight SHIMA!!! Yea right.... Imaging lab test was FUN!! But there wasn’t enough time to complete it.... Ouh wells... And Electronics lab test was a piece of cake.. =D I’ve got only 2 weeks to prepare for my Final Semestral Exams and just days for the remaining Common Test Papers. I’ll TRY not to blog for days to come and TRY to refrain myself from going online often. ShImA ♥ disguised at { 2:14 AM } Wednesday, January 28, 2009 I feel terrible. It’s gone from bad to worse. Thank you for the concerns. ShImA
♥ disguised at { 8:18 PM } Yesterday met Beth and Hafiz at Vivo. I had disturbed Hafiz in the morning to tell him about this last minute plan. He was half asleep when I called him. They had to explain CP to me and Priya. We went to eat first then head to the roof top. After they did the explanation, we cam-whored and played with water. It was fun!! See how easily distracted I can get????? SLAP me someone??? LOL. We went to Toys R’Us. We played with the toys there. Beth played with this voice changing toy...It was a cool toy. His voice was funny!! He nearly bought it. Anyways, I manage to annoy Priya.... hahaha. I reminded her again that I wanted a flower from her for Valentines. A red one to show her love for me... hahahaha! Don’t get me wrong... of course we’re straight people...LOL! It’s sister love... =) Special shout out to dear Saiful...I'm so sorry about my abrupt disappearance yesterday...The msn just suck..I'm really so sorry...Anyways... I love bright colours... yellow, lime green, hot pink...anything bright... =) The pics we took....                              ShImA
♥ disguised at { 12:42 AM } Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Remember there’s this day I wanted to start training & develop abs to be hot? It’s merely words....sad case. Someone smack me please? Even my class guys have hit the gym to train for napha... And I’m very sure my sit and reach will sabotage everything... like always. Is it my legs or are my hands too short to even touch my toes? Ouh man..... Ok...I think I should stop worrying over these minor things...Those can come later... coz exams are just around the corner....I’m not even prepared for it. I need to score!!! With FLYING COLOURS!! I’m so desperate right now. Really. This might be my only chance to pull up my GPA after what happen during the last semester. It’s an insult to my average intelligence...I don’t deserve those grades... yea right Shima.... One thing for sure...I need to stop getting easily distracted. ShImA
♥ disguised at { 2:36 AM } Monday, January 26, 2009 I would like to wish ALL my beloved Chinese friends and whoever celebrating it....a very HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! It was a very last minute thing. I wanted to go out for the sake of going out and needed company. Even if there isn’t any, I’ll just go out alone. I'm pathetic right? Hahahaha. It was already 3pm when I chatted with Azrun. And it was a coincidence that we had the same thoughts/plans, of going ECP to watch sunset alone. Great minds think alike. But we changed our plan when we reached City Hall, if I’m not wrong. We went to Marina Barrage instead. I shocked him by telling him I’ve never been there. & the thing about us meeting up... is that...we will not go according to plan. It was drizzling when we reached. He passed me his shawl so that I can protect my make-up. LOL. Thanks anyways. There were a lot of Malay families with their kids running around the water fountain, all drenched. The place was beautiful. I love the fountain. And red+blue+green lights makes purple. How cool. We sat by the river/water/sea or whatever u call it. The wind was very cooling... the ambience was perfect. Peaceful. He did most of the questioning and talking including making fun of my forehead. WTH. THX UH!! He also commented on my big thighs and my not so flat tummy. I kept callng him an asshole.... and he thought that is so vulgar.... he just doesn't know..........................*grins* We had to catch for the last bus back from MB and so we left quite early. He found my weakness point. From then on he never stops poking me and making fun of my reaction. THX again!! Before calling it a day, we head to Poppyes & I surprised him again as I’ve never eaten there before. Thank you for treating me! Thanks Azrun for going out with me! He never fails to make me laugh so much every time we meet. I had so much fun today. I really enjoyed myself. Thanks for making my day & thank you for everything!! Wanting to get sick so much right...... & I’m finally sick! Woohoo!!! Not. It hurts... ‘*’~’*’~’*’~’*’~’*’~’*’~’*’~’*’ Not like the previous times. This time is different. No bad dreams. No unwanted characters. No disaster scenes. No signs of anything negative. It’s clean. Free from doubts and uncertainties. I believe in this strongly. & that it’ll not disappoint me. I feel it. ShImA ♥ disguised at { 2:42 AM } Sunday, January 25, 2009 Her Love Story My addiction to you Grew stronger each day. A day without you, Rips off a portion of my sanity. I see the sparkle in your eyes. I feel the warmth in your smile. I sense the truth in your words. I believe the sincerity in you. What more could I possibly ask for. The heart doesn’t lie. Its mind boggling that it turns out this way. Coz all I want is you. ShImA Missing you can turn from torture to pleasure ♥ disguised at { 2:44 PM } Saturday, January 24, 2009 In the middle of the tutorial, I stood. The room was silent. Mr Lim looked at me. Me: Your thing very small larh cher... I went to sit next to Beth right in front. And the room was filled with laughter the minute I finished my sentence, mainly from the guys. I laughed along with them coz I know what they were thinking. I’m not sure if you people actually got it. It is guys stuff... the horny ones will understand I think...hahaha..oops... BUT... I wasn’t referring to anything like that.... I was referring to his extremely small prints on the transparency coz I couldn’t see clearly and I was seated right at the back. & the boys being boys...they got the wrong idea... I’m not sure if Mr Lim got it... I just LOVE his lessons!!! He’s THE BEST! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ My Painful Confessions. It is easier said than done. Until you were in this situation, you won’t understand. I felt very much harassed yet I’m unable to speak up. I guess I couldn't take this anymore. The following will be explicit. Don’t forget to catch your breath. Hold your anger. Control your emotions. I don’t know what I should feel right now. Should I be angry? Should I be embarrassed? Should I be upset? Should I even feel anything at all? If you were to be in my shoes, how would you react? How would you react if the person is your own friend??? If someone were to get horny with you...would you mind? If someone were to interfere with your personal stuff...would you mind? If someone were to speak to you about all those dirty things... what would you do? A friend whom I’ve known for a few years comes and chats with me and being extremely horny. He wanted hugs from me. He has thoughts of raping me, breaking my virginity. He asked about my bra size. He told me not to wear one when I'm at home. He even asked me not to mind him being horny towards me, only to him. And all that he could talk about is nothing but the horny stuffs. I could curse throughout my entry like I used to whenever somebody triggers my nerves. But what’s the point? What good does it bring? I’m not denying people do get the wrong impression of me, from the way I dress or even from my pictures. Yes I may be hot and sexy and appears to be horny or a flirt or whatever you can think of me. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for you to take advantage of me. I can be very open-minded but this has gone way too far. Do you actually think that all hot babes you see could think of nothing else but horny stuff? What makes you think that I would sacrifice my virginity on you? What right have you got to say all those things to me? You're not even my boyfriend to interfere with anything that is way too personal. Do you actually think I’m that low and uncivilised?? I'm not those Changi Village girls, neither am I those Geylang girls. You still have the cheek to ask me not to mind you being all horny. I thought you’ve changed. I thought you were smart enough to not make the same mistake. That respect I have for you because you were my friend is thinning and it might disappear anytime soon. My family thought me well enough even though my religious knowledge may not be as deep as my cousins or friends. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ My mum pointed out something that she hasn’t for a long time. It’s been a while.. I’m touched. Really. I think that’s probably the reason some things that’s been happening lately, reasons for my lost soul... Nevertheless, I’m still grateful that she’s my mom. I’ll always love her although I’m not comfortable showing it physically, unlike my sister. Ouh my... I’m getting all sentimental. Speaking of which, this reminds me of Priya’s mom. The day when I decided to walk home from Jurong East Library all the way to my house, sending Priya off first. It was considered quite late if you were to walk home at that time. Her mom was just concern about my safety. She even scolded Priya for allowing me to accompany her. Her mom scolded her because of me. It wasn’t her fault at all. I was stubborn enough to wait till she bought her food. Priya learnt her lesson not to leak out anything about me walking home again. I mean, which mom isn’t worried when she got to know when her daughter’s/son’s friend, whose a girl, decided to walk home alone at night over a long distance? NONE. I just needed the fresh air to ease my chaotic mind. ShImA ♥ disguised at { 3:29 AM } Thursday, January 22, 2009 Whenever the thoughts of you linger in my mind, I grew restless. Whenever I picture you in my mind, A smile is drawn across my face. Whenever I imagine you in my mind, I sense butterflies in my stomach. Whenever I think of you, Exuberance strikes. Whenever I dreamt of you, It eases the soul of mine. Whenever I saw you, Satisfaction is what I felt. So am I in love? I think I am.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I thought it has all ended. All those prank calls and smses. So I decided to ignore. I don’t bother to cut off my line as suggested by my thoughtful friends, although it was prepaid. I thought the person is smart enough to delete all my contacts already by now. But I was so wrong. I don’t know what is wrong with the person. Already take my phone but the person still has the cheek to disturb my classmates. Weird.... I got the feeling..... The person is someone I know.... Life is MISERABLE without it. But I survived with the help of my GREAT friend Priya. Without her.... OMG.. I really don’t know what I will become. Seriously. I’m so desperate right now. AN!!! I want to work!! The faster I get to work, the faster I will have my pay, the faster I’ll get myself a new phone. LOL. See how desperate I am?? *shakes head* ShImA ♥ disguised at { 10:26 PM } Wednesday, January 21, 2009 HAVE YOU Have you ever felt how just by the presence of a person you crave for would instantaneously liven up your mood? How badly you only need him/her at that point of time to entertain you even though you have to wait for hours. How a simple ‘HI’ is sufficient enough to send you to your own world, smiling to yourself. How a simple conversation would save you from all the anxieties. How all the sweet things he/she said kept playing in your mind over and over again and it never seem to bore you. The craze you have for someone is enough to rip off your sanity. Amazing isn’t it? I don’t want it to be temporary. I don’t want it to be lopsided. ShImA
♥ disguised at { 2:05 AM } Monday, January 19, 2009 Today’s lessons weren’t as bad till it was time for math. Damn. I was filled with boredom, irritation and I was restless throughout the lecture that I doodled, scribbled and drew random things on my lecture notes. It was 1 and a half hour of TORTURE. I’m not trying to be mean but I just don’t like her. It was a turn off, with all her saliva shooting out from her mouth in every direction and all her gasps. She just irritates me. And lastly, the lecturer seemed to be nagging throughout her lecture. It was so draggy. Some of my friends were merely copying blindly as she flashed the transparencies as they couldn’t understand a single shit that’s coming out from her mouth. Her lecture’s the reason for my mood off and wanting to go home straight so badly right after her lecture had ended. She triggers my nerve cells so easily. ♥ disguised at { 10:15 PM } Sunday, January 18, 2009 How I love the long night walk. Cool and fresh air that I breathe in Never fails To put my mind at ease And calm my anxious soul down. ShImA ♥ disguised at { 10:47 PM } Thursday, January 15, 2009 It’s amazing on how a couple could sustain their relationship for months or even for years. I can’t imagine myself having a long term relationship. Mine couldn’t even last for a month. Pathetic isn’t it? It’s not my fault that the longest I had was 2 weeks. Both of them were complete jerks. No point bringing the matter up coz it will just disgust me. I wonder if that’s even considered a relationship. I don’t see the reasons why some would refrain themselves from moving on after a bad relationship. Yea it hurts and it may take some time to let your heart heal after losing him/her. But really. There’s no point crying over someone who doesn’t appreciate you. So don’t waste your time. Not worth it. Life has to move on. Ouh wells... I enjoyed the freedom of being able to socialise with anyone regardless of gender. Probably that’s the reason why I’m still single. But it would be really awesome to be able to commit ourselves to a long term relationship. ShImA ♥ disguised at { 11:32 PM } I miss the old times. There were times where we would stay in school just to go for a jog around the stadium or school, play badminton and soccer. And Carol, we still haven’t done the thing that we’re supposed to do.... When are we going to start running??? Schedules have been hectic with all the assignments and projects to complete and going home VERY late. By the end of each day, we were pretty much shagged. Ouh wells... The pictures we took                    I seriously have no idea what Hafiz is trying to do... act as if he's doing the freeze.  He looks as is he's going to fart right at my face... THX uh.... Seems so wrong...HAHAHA!   We went to Mac to revise our Math and we left the school compound at 10+. Hopefully tomorrow’s Math won’t be a tough one. It's the first thing in the morning and I can't afford to be late. ShImA
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